How Your Clothes are Hurting You

This is generally common knowledge: high heels are not good for you.  The old joke goes that “a man must have invented high heels because no woman would put herself through this intentionally.”  Not only is it difficult to walk in high heels, but science shows that excessive use will shrink the Achilles tendon and calf muscle; making physical activity difficult and, in some cases, certain females have altered their ankles through overuse so extremely that they can’t wear flats any longer.  Additionally, heels force you to push weight back which, over time, will compress spinal discs and lead to serious long-term problems.  With that said, a sexy pair of stilettos on occasion for your spouse is a great way to spark the passion: at such times, leave the heels on.

Bet you didn’t see that one coming!  We’re going to stick with footwear for one more point to be made: most modern athletic shoes are increasing your chances for injury.  In his book Born to Run Christopher McDougall delves into the many technological “improvements” to athletic footwear that have been made in the last five decades, and compares them to the evolution of homo sapien sapiens.  McDougall points to anthropological studies which state that humans developed an upright stature for survival purposes: higher sight to see predators, and a body developed for running long distances to, effectively, chase prey until it suffered heat stroke after great distances of running.  These humans did not have shoes.  McDougall argues that we were always meant to run and have done just fine at it until the shoe wars started.  Injuries in running, for instance, are almost identical in percentage to that of 30 years ago.  In a recent Freakonomics Podcast episode titled “These Shoes are Killing Me!”, experts give an illustration: imagine if you put your hands in gloves as confining to your nerves, fingers, and skin for nearly all of your life in a way shoes relate to your feet; what skills would you have lost?  Go barefoot once in a while, and aim for flatter, less supportive shoes.

Alright, that’s not fair, you can still have a stylish bag without it breaking your back over time.  It’s just going to be a slight adjustment from the fashionable side bags big enough to carry your pocketbook, and lip balm, and compact, hand sanitizer, sewing kit, aspirin, notebook, hairdryer, calculator, phone, map, ruler, watch, camera (btw, those last six can just be your smart phone…), and, I don’t know, a Doberman.  Anyway, this isn’t about the ridiculous things you probably have in your bag, it’s about how studies show carrying anything 5lbs or heavier on one side of the body is terrible for posture and leads to many chiropractic issues.  When worn properly, backpacks have proven to be far healthier than side bags.  And don’t fret, if you don’t feel like spending $30 on a bag, you can still buy backpacks from Louis Vuitton and Coach at prices reaching in the thousands of dollars!  So even the most crippling shopping habits can coexist with wellness.

That’s right, your undies may be causing both short-term and long-term damage to your body – and your chance at having offspring to tell them how to dress.  Men’s briefs don’t allow as much breathability as boxers which can lead to lower sperm count and, well, over compression that punishes “excitement” and can lead to the growing issue (see what we did there?) of E.D.  Ladies, you’re not in the clear quite yet.  The form-friendly undergarment known has thongs (and introduced to teens everywhere by Sisqo) have been found to host bacteria in its not-so-many cover spots.  These can cause urinary tract infections that is even less comfortable than sporting a constant wedgie.  Pick one extreme or the other for sleep time to combat this potential problem without showing lines at that dinner party: either full covering undies or commando in the sheets to give your lady-parts a break.